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General Scout Von Dangersauce

General Scout von Dangersauce (“Scout”) embarked on a journey to New Jersey from his native Georgia via a top-secret rescue mission. Immediately upon his arrival in the great township of Long Hill, New Jersey, this husky-bred adventurer led his unsuspecting humans on a two-hour escape course through swampy and wildlife-populated terrain. Since that time, Scout has continued to test the endurance, devotion, and mental acuity of his humans by escaping through inconspicuous exits on his gated land.

He has often been published on his town’s Facebook page, under the titles “Whose Dog is This?”, “There’s a Wolf in My Yard,” and “This Dog Just Broke into My House.” He trains his canine colleagues on the disadvantages of GPS dog collars, leashes, and glow-in-the-dark dog tags. He specializes in the apprehension and arresting of squirrels and field mice through the “alert prey drive” technique. He has a particular infatuation with smaller humans, finding them more amusing and playful than the elders.

At the office, Scout will use his intimidating face mask to stare into the eyes of intruders until they make life decisions that will either end in immediate termination or enrichment. He is known for his relentless interrogation of office employees by repeatedly speaking “I love you” and “hello” until they provide him with the tasty dog biscuits he demands.

In Scout’s free time, he enjoys mud, boiled chicken, trail runs, and exposing his precious jewels while napping on his back. He dislikes baths, vampires, getting his ears cleaned, the Lannisters, and when Hollywood remakes a classic movie. He always enjoys a good novel, such as Brave New World by Aldous Huxley. His favorite movies are Togo (2020), Snow Dogs (2002), and Beaches (1988).