In going to court to obtain custody of your child, you will likely be under close scrutiny. Our NJ divorce attorneys will remind you to be mindful of your behavior during the proceedings. Parents who behave poorly put their case at risk. With that in mind, here are a few things our NJ divorce attorneys might tell you to avoid.
You may not like your ex very much right now. This is typical and to be expected. Even so, you must avoid saying negative things about your ex publicly and, more importantly, to your children. You don't want to make it seem as if you are coaching your children to say bad things about the other parent. All experts agree that disparaging one parent is harmful to a child. This is because a child develops their identity from both sets of parents. If a child believes that one parent is bad, that child will consciously or subconsciously view themselves as less worthy.
It is very important to keep the routine and atmosphere in the home as stable as possible. It is not uncommon for a parent to suddenly display erratic behavior at the time of divorce. It goes without saying that the end of a marriage is a stressful time. Some professionals relate it to experiencing a death. Many people turn to drugs or alcohol. They may begin to party as a way of recapturing their youth and happiness. They may rarely come home, or come home very late into the night. Unfortunately, such erratic behavior may prove you to be an irresponsible parent, even if your kids were not in your care at the time. Our matrimonial law attorneys will advise you that such erratic behavior may cost you custody of your children.
Our family law attorneys advise that posting questionable photos and comments on social media is a quick way to give your ex evidence to use against you in court. Always remember that anything you post on the Internet is fair game and a public resource. Just because you deleted your ex on social media, does not mean they can't find evidence to use against you. Remember, it is likely that you have mutual "friends" with your ex. In the digital age we now live in, social media is increasingly brought up in custody proceedings and is something to be mindful of.
Lying in court, to divorce mediation lawyers or even to your own child custody attorney is a bad idea. It's very easy to slip up and get caught lying in court. Moreover, it is a crime. While you may be tempted to make yourself look better and your ex look worse, no good will come of it. The judge knows neither of you are perfect. He/she is only trying to discern what custody arrangement is in the best interest of the children - not who was the better spouse. If you are a fit parent, you need only tell the truth.
Seeking child custody does not have to be a nightmare. With the help of a good Morris County divorce attorney here at Ruvolo Law Group, you can be fully prepared for anything.